Shape headz

oh hai.

What I want to eat versus what I eat

 

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who eats to live. Who sees food as fuel for the body. But no. I live to eat. I love the taste of food. Good food is one of life's pleasures that I embrace with gusto. And let's be honest, the tastiest food is usually the worst food for you. Pizza, fries, Taco Bell. Not the best. (Is Taco Bell legally allowed to be called "food" anymore? It's mainly chemicals). I know what you may be thinking, all of those things can be good for you! In moderation. Let me stop you right there. I will never be able to eat just one slice of pizza, as is recommended. IT'S NOT ENOUGH PIZZA.

I have done the healthy eating route, the "lifestyle" change. I lost weight and felt great! But that lifestyle is hard as hell to maintain. Eating is such a social experience. For date night, we go out to a restaurant. Meeting up with friends, we grab a bite to eat. Going to the movies, we have to bring our apple slices, or worse, raw carrots so we're not tempted by the large tub of popcorn that our boyfriend has to get EVERY. TIME. I felt like I was missing out on life with the constantly healthy lifestyle. So I slowly reverted to eating whatever I wanted, and gained the weight back. It sucks, but I prefer fully partaking in life. And for me, eating is a big part of life!

My problem is finding the balancing between enjoyment and overindulgence. Full disclosure, last weekend I ate a fried item every day (fried pickles, onion rings, fries) and for dinner one night I had a soft pretzel (with mustard SO GOOD) and cookies n' cream Dippin Dots. Seriously. That is not a meal, people! And, surprise surprise, I felt awful afterwards. Eat crap and feel like crap. The two seconds that we're eating it, it's awesome. But after that, it's over. And we're left with how our bodies feel. When I eat clean, I feel light and energized. Eating processed, greasy food I feel heavy and bloated.

So now, I'm trying to find balance. I want to enjoy everything that life has to offer because it's short and I'd rather be a little chubby than sit in the corner crying and eating celery (aka the worst food ever). My goals are to make more healthy choices when I can, so I can enjoy the unhealthy choices, too.

Sketchbook: Beauty Fades

  

 Recent sketchbook page 

The phrase "beauty fades" has been around probably forever. It is written in the Bible. Judge Judy wrote a book about it.

Yet, it's not true. 

Yes. We will get wrinkly. We will probably get fat(ter). But, that absolutely doesn't mean we aren't beautiful. Most people see beauty as it appears on the surface. Whatever their society's standard of beauty is. From birth, we are ingrained with what this typical beauty is supposed to be. I think it's bullshit. So few people fit into this standard, typical beauty. How, then, can it be true beauty?

Beauty doesn't fade unless you let it to. I think truly beautiful people are those that are happy. Those that refuse to enjoy life because they've gotten wrinkles or fatter or whatever the case may be, they aren't allowing themselves to be beautiful. Age is beautiful. With it comes wisdom of years, and a greater idea of what life is about. If you're unhappy about it, get Botox, get a facelift. Who the hell cares?! Just make yourself happy. If you still hate the way you look after doing the things you thought would help, you may need therapy. 

Some may argue that it's impossible to live our lives as beautiful because we don't fit into the societal standards of beauty. That because people wherever we live in the world don't see you as beautiful, it can't be true. To that I say, ignore society! JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Guess what? I'm never going to be a weight deemed appropriate by society. I've tried, and my body didn't like it. So, I simply don't care anymore. I am striving to be healthier, body and mind, and that is really all that matters. 

What I Wore

I have always loved the What I Wore Today Flickr group started by the amazing Gemma Correll, but I have never participated! Here's my first go at it. It looks a lot better in the drawing than in reality. I had day (or 2) old hair, a no make-up face, and my shirt was wrinkly. But that's life.

Pinky lady

Whenever I sit down to paint with watercolors lately, I just want to paint faces and get lost in small details. I really wish I had this lady's hair and necklace. They're all kinds of awesome.

I'm LOVING watercolor. I previously thought that I didn't really know how to paint with watercolors. My knowledge stopped at those Crayola watercolor sets, where if you mixed any of the colors together, you would just end up with brown. Watercolor easily gives depth, dimension, and interest to the painting. You also get a lot of bang for your buck with watercolor paints. I only have a few colors - black, white, red, yellow, blue, sienna, and emerald green. With those, I'm able to mix them together to get so many more colors.

Cheesy Gorditos

Before anything else, I must fully recognize that a "Cheesy Gordito Crunchwrap Supreme" does not currently exist at Taco Bell (but it does sound pretty good, albeit super extreme). Cheesy Gordita Crunch, yes. And Crunchwrap Supreme, yes. 

One of Kyle's many many nicknames for the cats is Cheesy Gordito Crunchwrap Supremes. Gordito in Spanish affectionately means "chubby." We have two fat cats, so gordito is pretty normal. Cheesy Gordito Crunchwrap Supreme takes it to another level.

The first

I've tried many attempts at blogging, journaling, and the like and it never sticks. Lack of things to say? Hell no! I have a lot to say. So why then? Because I've been too timid to just post whatever I wanted. What a silly thing! This is my blog, my words, my life.

I've been toying with a new life philosophy of just doing whatever the hell I want to do. I want to wear bright orange lipstick and a weird flowy shirt? I'm going to do it. I want to cross-stitch and watch 4 movies in a row? That's my plan then. Obviously, I still have to do life things that suck like laundry and cleaning, but those things make me happier after the fact, so there is a place for that too. This life philosophy is more about doing the things that make ME happy and not worrying about what any one else thinks about it. To embrace that I don't have to be normal, I just have to be me. Because who is normal anyway? What is normal? If there is a normal, it's probably super boring.

The painting I did above (her name is Sassy Lady) perfectly exemplifies this new philosophy. Many times while drawing or painting previously, I thought about what other people would think about it. Would they think its good? Bad? With Sassy Lady, I just did whatever I wanted to do. I told myself it didn't have to go anywhere, it didn't have to be pretty. It just had to be fun. And it was SO much fun! It's so liberating when we stop caring about what others may think. I think that when we stop caring what others think, confidence and happiness come flooding into our lives.